Is it about our true wishes or about our diminishing ability to be in a relationship?
We are a generation that was born in the beautiful time of the ’90’s, with Disney shows, Nintendo gameboys, and the Macarena, and bred (for the most part) in the bittersweet world of technology. We are the generation that wasn’t born into the realm of the high-tech world, but we picked it up rather quickly, and now it has become an indispensable part of us.
With changing times, and uproar in the use and abuse of social media and the demand to be tech-savvy, have we somewhere along the way, forgotten a lot of concepts that are incredible elements of life? Have we, in a quest to become cool and casual, coined terms, such as “open relationships,” “friends with benefits,” no strings attached,” and “hook-ups” to make sense of the chaos that breeds inside our brains and hearts ?
We don’t know how to love anymore. We don’t know what monogamy means anymore. We have been utterly successful at finding loopholes, and making rules out of exceptions. We have given labels to acts, relationships, and situations, which didn’t exist previously, or were considered morally wrong. We shrug off our confusions and conflicts about a person and a relationship by telling ourselves, and others, that we are attaching no emotional attachment to this person and relationship, because why not? Emotional attachment has started to look like a burden, and incessant cravings for human touch have been covered by mere “hook-ups,” just because we feel that it is a good escape.
Our is a generation where mostly everyone has mastered the art of a dating app, and which sees no real point in actual human conversation and connection. We are a generation who is deeply scared, and unfortunately, scarred. A generation who has learnt to cover up their moral failures, such as that of cheating and lying, with even more lies and cheat ways. We are the generation that grew up on cheat codes, and quite literally, the one that relies on them for everything in life. I don’t see anything wrong with us, all I see is this deep fear to not being able to commit, to not being able to be true and honest, because maybe, somewhere, we have given in to so many of our insecurities. I don’t dislike our generation, I worry about us. Not because our paths in life are different from how they used to be once, but because we see our feelings and thoughts as heavy weights that crush us. We don’t want anything “serious.” We only want a few minutes, hours, days, weeks, or months of “fun,” and sadly, we think that to be good enough.
But is the real issue actually that we don’t “want” relationships, or is it that we can’t handle relationships? Is it about our wish to have one, or is it about us losing our ability to be in one? Do we know what love means? Will we ever know? In a time when distractions and options spoil each one of us, how do we stay true to ourselves, and to the one who loves us? What is the guarantee? Do people even keep promises anymore? Maybe we need to think about all of these questions and dilemmas that are gradually, but truly creeping up on us, because we do owe ourselves some honesty- honesty about life, about love, and about relationships that surround us.